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Hey Peanuts!
It’s Piper and I’m here to talk about and help you navigate grief.
Grief comes in all shapes and sizes and there is no right way to go about it. The basic definition of grief is the anguish experienced after a significant loss. When you experience grief there are many different mental and physical symptoms you could encounter.
Grief can be hard and often varies from person to person, meaning some might be more affected by it than others. Maybe you don’t cry or feel anything, and that’s perfectly fine. Nobody knows exactly how grief plays out, so it’s hard to say what will or will not happen.
There are different stages thought of when people experience grief, according to Cruse Bereavement Support. The stages include:
Denial: feeling numb and having a hard time believing the loss is real
Anger: feeling angry at the world, yourself or the person/thing being grieved
Bargaining: making deals with yourself or if you’re religious the person you worship, asking lots of ‘what ifs’
Depression: sadness or longing, life can feel like it no longer holds any meaning
Acceptance: you accept what happens, not necessarily getting over the loss but learning to live again.
When experiencing grief, because it is not the same for everyone, you might not go through all the stages in order or you might skip a stage or two.
Everyone processes grief differently and just because the reaction you have isn’t like someone else’s or isn’t the ‘normal’ way grief is expressed doesn’t mean it’s wrong. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t unhealthy ways to grieve.
Try not to isolate yourself completely from other people, it’s fine to make time for yourself and your feelings once in a while, but shunning people isn’t going to help.
You also should try not to let other people tell you what or how to feel. Your grief is your own, you can reach out to other people for help but don’t let them tell you how to grieve or make you feel embarrassed about your feelings.
There is no certain way to overcome grief and no set time limit to when it might expire. According to the American Psychological Association, most people can recover from loss on their own through the passage of time if they have social support and healthy habits.
Grief takes time and can feel overwhelming. If you are feeling overwhelmed and want a break, I would suggest taking it slow. Don’t stress yourself out by jumping right back into things when you aren’t ready. To de-stress I would suggest going on a walk or listening to music. Make time for yourself to do something you enjoy.
You deserve to take a breath every once in a while especially when you experience a loss. Talking to people might also help, whether it’s friends, family or a professional. If you don’t want to talk to people or feel you can’t, journaling can help you work through your feelings. Lastly, grief can be a strong emotion and you shouldn’t have to go through it alone. Let someone act as your rock.
Here at WHHS, we have our own support for coping with grief. Your grade-level counselors are always there for you to talk to. Susan Flowers is our school social worker, you can reach her at FloweSu@cps-k12.org or in 3302 and Julie Cathey is our school psychologist, you can reach her at catheyj@cps-k12.org or in 2229.
That’s all I have to say Peanuts, until next time.
Sincerely,
Piper
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