Floating rock: how to find confidence within

Kate Stiens tackles insecurities in her column, we live on a floating rock.


Kate Stiens

Don’t bully yourself for not looking like someone else, you are beautiful in your own way.

Confidence is hard to come by these days. Models occupy our social media pages, defining an impossible beauty for this generation of young people. Teens these days are constantly comparing themselves to what society deems as perfect and what they see all around them, and when they spot differences, they feel insecure in their own skin. 

Every single human being in the world has insecurities, and if they claim that they don’t, they are lying. These insecurities build up in our brains to bring us down and make us feel less comfortable, less confident, and sometimes depressed. But how someone handles these insecurities is what makes them confident.

Insecurities come in all shapes and sizes. They can range from appearance to personality, struggles, or skills. Not all insecurities are visible to the eye, and some people are really good at hiding them inside.

Some insecurities are changeable, and it is up to the individual to change them. But others are not. These are the ones that bother us the most. The fact that we cannot change them makes them more prevalent and pestering in our life.

This is where confidence comes in. When you are given a quality that you do not like and cannot change, your attitude toward this quality determines how you feel about yourself. 

Obviously this is not as easy as it sounds, but your attitude really does make an impact. If you constantly beat yourself up about it, it will haunt you even more. If you decide to own it, it becomes beautiful and unique, and the confidence will come. 

You need to change your point of view. If you start owning your insecurities, others will see them as beautiful too.  Trust me though, no one is as hard on yourself as you are. In fact, many will not even notice your insecurities because they are too focused on their own insecurities.  Although this will not actually change you, it will change how you see yourself.

I personally am one of many girls who has compared herself to models online. I see Kendall Jenner in my Instagram feed all the time, wishing I looked like her, as I am sure millions of other girls do. But it is at this point exactly where you have to stop yourself from saying “I don’t look like her, so I am not pretty.” Instead, you have to realize that everyone is beautiful in their own way. While you may think Kendall Jenner is perfect, she too has insecurities and wishes she looked like someone else, maybe even someone like you.

Now when I see Kendall Jenner, I think to myself “she is so pretty,” but I also think to myself “I love how different from her I look” as uniqueness is also a form of beauty and owning it is so powerful. 

The way you treat yourself has a direct impact on how others perceive you. Giving off insecure energy will not make you confident.

Confidence is the foundation for living your life to the fullest. If you have no confidence, you won’t allow yourself to do things you want to do.

As I have previously said, we live on a floating rock. Do you really want to spend your life not doing things you want to just because you are insecure? We do this too often. We use our insecurities as excuses not to go do things that would bring us joy. 

Don’t live your life wondering, “what if I had the confidence.” Start treating yourself like the best person you know, and soon you will be.